This pictured male horse has been working with me to bring about more confidence in me around horses. He has gifted me with expanse and in every way patience, he is more patient than me and he breaths out just like we do when he knows that I'm not getting it. The first week I saw him, I was shaking. I had taken this on board as a wrongness of me. Huh! Stooopid (meaning lack of awareness on my part). This shaking my friends is what's commonly called excitement. Huh! I have seen him five times and each time my confidence around him grows. On my fourth visit, I was not 100% focused and the awesome lady guiding us took his lead and he well for want of better words "threw a tanti". I am aware this was his way of showing me just how powerful he is and just how kind he's being to me.

How did I get to be so lucky to meet such a beautiful presence?

We finished the day playing ball. Have you ever seen a horse play ball? It’s funny, I mean really funny. One of those large balls, that one does physical activity on. I'm not aware of their name. I lead him to the ball and he kicks it. I laughed so hard, that the beautiful lady teacher also laughed and with that the horse laughed and it was very clear that he knew just how easy it was to please us. On my last visit we again played ball, this is the way we have been finishing the lesson, after the handling, is play time. He kicked the ball then I kicked it back, it's not like when one kicks a footy, it's gentle rolling really, we were kicking it to each other and it was amazing to be present in the joy the horse received as well as us. To be present in the joy of that moment was an amazing gift.

During this life, I've not had a great deal to do with horses, sounds kind of strange because my father had a horse stud. Huh! My view was when a horse arrived that I could wear stilettos on I'd get involved. What can I say .... I was young and stooopid.

This year I'm into definitely different. What I haven't tried before I'm up for. I've been in a large plane, and a small plane. I so enjoyed the small plane, for me, it was what I know currently is close as possible to actual flying like a bird would feel like, one can feel the wind under the body, feel the wings move and feel the flaps as they prepare for flight and descent. I give this description when my blog today is about horses as I'm aware that a horses job is to be ridden and yet I have been gifted the experience of handling. It is not what I had expected similarly to the small plane. It is again unexpectedly a great joy. Some have asked if I intend to ride. Currently that would be a "no" for me. I'm enjoying .... hmmmm ... what's another word that would be more descriptive of enjoyment ... agog? ... hmmmm ...... with the horse and the handling. I'm aware the horse is a lot more conscious than I am, he knows his job and what he's here for. For me .... while I enjoy placing my hands on bodies and watching the transformation from sad to joy .... I wonder is that a job? Sometimes I get paid for it, sometimes I swap with others, sometimes I gift those in need, yet, the joy it brings could not be called a job could it? I wonder if that's how others are with what they enjoy as “a job”? Anyway in a few words I've managed horse handling, flying, working and fun.

The amazing horse that is pictured has been a great gift to me, from him I've received patience, understanding, joy and laughter. What I was not expecting was "love" or because there’s such a expanse of meaning in that word (love the toast, love the footy, love a beer) I’d prefer to use gratitude. Tears are easy to come to my eyes when I look inside myself and know the gratitude that is in my being now because of him. He has healed part of me I was not even aware could be healed and because of him I'm kinder.

Does that make any sense?

Maybe not to those who know me I'm kind and generous, well at least I had believed that where I was coming from, yet this change is major. I'm kinder because now I know what forgiving really is. I also know what depth gratitude brings. This amazing magical creature has opened my heart and let down my barriers and that has brought kindness that now oozes and flows. I am more acoustic inside myself and the reason is he showed me how. I’m not diminishing the beautiful teacher, I have much gratitude for her as well, without her I would not know.

I'm now aware that those that have hurt me, though it was their choice and though it does not diminish the act in anyway, acted that way because they were in that moment of that choice. We've all made "not so smart choices" right. I mean buying the fish that's on sale when you know it's iffy and eating it and being ill for days .... hmmm not so smart a choice, or getting lost on a way to an event and still going all the while knowing it's going to be not so smart then having the police ring as an item though reported as "flung about" was reported stolen ..... and that I was accused of that theft when I knew the person did not have the item on at the gate when hugging another in my view..... hmmmm not so smart a choice.

I too wonder now if that is the same for murderers when they make comments "it wasn't me". Do they mean for that split second they allowed a stooopid action that not even they were aware of and for that action ... wow what consequences then is lack of awareness and how far does it extend to our planet and those that dwell with us, trees, plants, animals, insects, each  other?

Is that then the same for those that hurt / violate / beat others? When they come to the "I'm sorry I didn't mean it" is it that they are allowing stooopid to be the choice instead of awareness itself?

So for me, here with the horse who has gifted me with such amazing expanse of knowing. When was the last time I stooopid .... hmmm ... five weeks ago in my misidentification of fear .....  sure it didn't have much of a consequence ha ha ha ha only all the years of my living that I did not choose to be with these majestic gifts. Wow! What an awareness.

I wonder .... How many others are missing out on such gifts because they too choose “stooopid” (meaning lack of awareness)?

Thank you for reading, thank you to my teacher and thank you to the amazing horse that has been the reason for all of this. I know that in forgiveness itself a kindness to one appears greater than any expectation would have one guessed ............. LOL wishing you an awesome day :)