Am I making any sense?

What would you do to spend time with like minded beings?

Do we join a class to learn? or Do we join a class to be with someone that might just get us?

I'm asking because for most of my life I've been attempting to fit a very oblong, lumpy, bumpy, shape into a peg hole? Does that make sense? I've gone into the wrongness of me at every so called "failed" relationship, business, job loss, friendship ending. Words like .......... "What's wrong with me? What am I doing that's chasing everyone away? I know I'm different. Yet I squiggle to meld to them and still lose them. I know I'm a chameleon because I can blend in any relationship, any job or business . Does it make sense? Is there something wrong with me?

It’s just not working for me. Something somewhere is coming undone in a very huge way. I’m looking for more. I’m looking for all of me and for those who would be looking for more or all of themselves as well.  

I've been working at changing me for a great deal of time being here. Wow! What if it's not to fit in? What if I'm simply being what comes naturally with women who are like minded. Women who would like to talk about more that shoes, not that shoes are a bad conversation, I like shoes, it's just that when I have a conversation there's usually 30 topics, not just one. Women who would demand to change the way Domestic Violence costs $13.6 billion in Australia and we only spend $6 billion on our children's education. Women who are the warriors of change to bring about the desires to reality to and for other women who can't choose or don't have the strength. A place where one can go and have their nails done, hair done, body processing, talk, art, workshops, charkra balance, music, lessons? How can this occur? Am I making any sense?

Easter Monday, I spent the day in nature, with another woman, like minded, we walked in the bush, we held trees. I'd quite forgotten they are hard on one side and soft and mossy on the other. I'd definately forgotten the gorgeous smell of the rain forest. Animals came from nowhere and everywhere to be with us, the birds sang a chorus that was simply breathtaking, the butterflies put on a display of colour I’d forgotten even existed. It made me giggle to touch the tree softly, it made the tree wiggle so I'm wondering is that a communication with animals and plants in a way I’d forgotten existed as well? I felt light and I’m a big girl, I felt at peace, and I’m not working and money is very low right now. I trust that the universe will take care of me and I'm asking you, will you respond? It's all strange, yet somehow so familiar I felt at home. Am I making any sense? I've always had an affinity with animals and nature and water and I'm wondering if the whole of my being has simply seeking this and some female companions to share open communication open communion with (I'm not talking body parts together, or sex if you perfer it that way, not that I have a point of view on it), I'm asking a question here and I'm looking for a response. A companionship of knowing response.

What is that? What is that barrier? Is it something I’ve constructed? How do I demolish it? Funny what the last two words are there and if you look at the last four letters hmmmm (demolish it) I wonder what is occurring in my world? I wonder what's required to change it to different?

This year 2013, has been about me, what brings me joy, what makes me laugh, what would I like to contribute back, what would I like to receive? I’m looking for an energy response that opens a possibility for me and for other women. I’ve recently had a glimmer of it, spending time with my friend in the bush, sharing body processing with gorgeous other women and I acknowledge my awesome awareness right now here in public. I would ask for way more of that to show up in my world. How does it get better? How do I receive more?

Does anyone know? Would anyone gift me with a communion of possiblity that is tangible in this reality?                                                   Am I making any sense?